Katie Kerl: Love The One Your With

Photography and Text by Katie Kerl, Copyright 2019


Love The One You’re With


Why are we so shut down emotionally that we’d rather cause literal chaos with the person we are supposed to love / be friends with , than tell them our problems, wants, and needs? 

Is it technology and the lack of actual verbal communication leaving us to send meaningless texts that can’t express feelings, body language, or facial expressions? How are relationships supposed to survive in this always connected world of miscommunication?  Often time’s things get left unsaid, nasty words for lack of a sensor behind a screen. People give up on relationships because no one understands they are actual WORK. 

When you’re sitting with someone and they are hesitating, crying, or look sad. Trying to understand someone else’s perspective while in the presence of that person is almost impossible to begin with. Take out the in person elements of all human interaction, and it’s no wonder why we walk around like emotionless drones.

Relationships are a second job entirely. Getting though your own day, getting in a little of your own hobbies, then doing all the couple stuff. They do not tell you in fairy tales there will be days you want to smother Prince Charming and rule the castle alone. There will be days he wishes he never put that glass slipper on your foot. Holding the castle up together is the point. Not losing site of that is the HARD PART. Arguing is two people against an issue to be solved. Not two people against each other trying to win.

It makes me think we have forgotten how to mutually love one another with no expectation other than for love to be returned?

Anyone with a crazy past gets it. You tend to be more perceptive to people’s emotions. It’s strange to be able to see things in people without them really telling me. Sometimes my gift of perception can also be a curse. Anxiety mixed with ADD will do that to you though.  I have gone through so much at an early age. If you look like you’re struggling I’m going to ask you why, if you do not answer me, I’ll ask again. I’m persistent, overly annoying, and caring. I’ve been through hell and back , and even the devil didn’t want me. 

When you find that person to love the one who completely accepts you, refuses to give up on you, & support is mutual. That’s some scary shit and an amazing feeling to be honest. Do not give up on that no matter how hard the work is because they get you. Every imperfect part of you and, and you feel the same way.

Now, I don’t just mean romantic relationships. I’m talking about friendships too. When people think they know you based on how far you let them In. Friends you can just BE around are the best. You don’t have to explain anything they just know. They know when you need them, they ask if you’re ok, stand up for you, and you do the same. No matter the distance between you.

Being accepted and chasing your dreams is all anyone wants. Everyone seems to have that side hustle now, because that 9-5 just is not giving you the satisfaction you were guaranteed when applying for colleges in high school.  If you have support and people who want to be there when it gets tuff, let them in. Real people are hard to come across these days.

Being able to write about real life has been very interesting. Some people are for it, and others wondering why I’m putting so much of myself out there. The simple answer is; if I help one person not feel alone in their situation that’s my goal.

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Hallmark holiday true, but you can also make it a fun day to appreciate anyone. Being a foodie I think it’s the worst day to actually go out and eat. Pre-fix menus and over reserved restaurants just are not my thing. Make dinner at home, buy sex toys, write down memorable things and put it in a jar, send your parents flowers , get drinks with the girls, print photos and frame them. It really is the little things that matter. My mother really hammered that in my head as a kid and  I’m so happy she did. 


About The AuthorKatie Kerl. Born 1984. Raised in Drexel Hill,  Pennsylvania. Attended Drexel University for Behavioral  Psychology .Occupation : commercial/ residential  design Philadelphia resident since 2011 . Hobbies include  : Foodie, whiskey drinker,  fitness , cooking  , tattoos , & house music lover . Instagram:  @beatz_eatz_n_freaks .To access additional articles by Katie Kerl, click here:http://tonywardstudio.com/blog/katie-kerl-philadelphia-foodgasim/


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